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Monday, August 31, 2009

the right person.

One morning as I was driving to work last week, the deejays to a particular radio station was discussing about finding the one.
She went on to say that the reason she's not married at her age, is she has yet to find the right person. She does not want to 'settle'. The issue received mixed reactions, some people called in to agree, and there were a fair bunch who disagreed too.
In my opinion, there's no such thing as the one because nobody is perfect. We can go on with our lives looking for the right person, but it's as if we're so right ourselves. Get what I mean ?
I believe in finding a person who would complement your imperfections.
A person who is willing to jump in joy with you when you're happy, yet hold your hands through the bitter times.
What do you think ?

Oh well, got this from a friend of a friend's Facebook. Thought it would be the perfect time to share it with all you, regardless of your relationship status.

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question.
She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?"
In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.

You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. .. you can "make"

love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling.

Remember this always:

"God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go."


xoxo,
Melissa R.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

red, black and silver ?

Mr Sunshine came down last Friday for a one night's (sobs) visit.
We went to Jalan TAR with the initial thought of getting some, if not all, of our hantaran stuff, but after seeing and walking through the massive crowd there, we went back after only getting one item.

But we managed to book the cloth for our reception (my side) !
It's from the same place I sent my baju kurung for nikah which will be ready by the end of October, InshaAllah.
I know I have not revealed the details of the boutique I am hiring, but I do not plan to until I see how my baju kurung looks like. I do not want to end up recommending something I do not like. But it's in Jalan TAR lah. :)
As I have mentioned in my previous post, it has been tough looking for dress of my dreams (cewah) so we've decided to rent a newly tailored one.
It's red satin and black coloured lace with silver details.
I was really hoping to find silver or grey coloured lace to go with the red satin, but they all did not appeal to me. Terpaksa tukar theme yang ada di dalam kepala selama ini.
But I really like how the lace we picked out brings out the red ! I have no regrets so far, except for not taking snapshots of the cloth. :(
Ooohh I'm starting to get so excited (and nervous) even though I have not decided on how I want the dress to be designed.
Will only be going to get our measurements after Aidilfitri, so I guess I have ample time to decide and browse through the numerous wedding magazines I have with me. Hehe. I would be happy if anyone else would chip in with some ideas, hehe.
I would also have ample time to lose some inches from this ever expanding hips of mine, I hope.

The official caterer for my reception will be Mutiara Catering.
Confirmed this last Tuesday after a lengthy discussion between Sal and I and Hakimin from Mutiara Catering.
He was really good, as in he was so honest in explaining why I should not get ribbons for plastic chairs etc etc. He seemed genuinely interested to help me, not just out there to suck all the money out of me.

And today, I booked my pelamin !
I opted for the pelamin package I could afford, minus their bersanding outfit.
Went to see them once to discuss colors etc, but it looks like I'm gonna have to talk to them again since I have changed the colour of my dress.
I hope they won't disappoint !

xoxo,
Melissa R.

checklist update #3

Akad Nikah@Solemnization

  1. Kursus Perkahwinan - After Aidilfitri, InshaAllah.
  2. HIV testing - After Aidilfitri, InshaAllah.
  3. Kebenaran berkahwin - Mr Sunshine has taken his application form, will settle this part later.
  4. Wedding rings - BOUGHT !
  5. Catering - Daddy will try to check with the Ustaz whether the mosque can provide this.
  6. Kadi and witness - Daddy has spoken to the Ustaz, hopefully things will go accordingly, Ameen.
  7. Hantaran - 1 item bought !
  8. Hantaran deco - DIY ! Sal has promised to help out with them. We have sort of decided on the theme !
  9. Nikah outfit, tudung and shoes - Nikah cloth sent to tailor.
  10. Make up - I want to try to get an affordable package along with my reception pelamin and outfit
  11. Photography - BOOKED !
  12. Bed & bedroom deco -
Reception (my side)


  1. Invitation cards -
  2. Catering - BOOKED !
  3. Hall - BOOKED !
  4. Pelamin - BOOKED !
  5. Dress and shoes - BOOKED !
  6. Make up - BOOKED !
  7. Bunga pahar -
  8. Door gifts - I think I know what I'm gonna give out as favours, nothing extravagant though. :)
  9. Photography - BOOKED !
  10. Videography - Hmm. This can be omitted according to the budget.
  11. Corsages -
  12. Cloth for bridesmaid and best man - Have not decided whether this is necessary.
  13. Cloth for Daddy, Marc and Marlene - This too.
  14. Kompang -
Reception (his side)


  1. Catering & canopy- So far, his Dad said he'll be taking care of this part of the ceremony
  2. Pelamin -
  3. Dress and shoes -
  4. Make up -
  5. Door gifts -
  6. Photography - BOOKED !
  7. Cloth for bridesmaid and best man -
Miscellaneous

  1. Expenses for relatives (fuel, accommodation) - Sobs. Bayar sendiri tak boleh ye ? Hee.
  2. Honeymoon - Will be thought about after sorting out other things. Even if we do go anywhere it would be within Malaysia. :)

xoxo,
Melissa R.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

checklist update #2

Akad Nikah@Solemnization

  1. Kursus Perkahwinan - Am starting to feel a bit sad that we have not managed to attend this together yet. :(
  2. HIV testing - After Aidilfitri, InshaAllah.
  3. Kebenaran berkahwin - Mr Sunshine has taken his application form, will settle this part later.
  4. Wedding rings - BOUGHT !
  5. Catering - Daddy will try to check with the Ustaz whether the mosque can provide this.
  6. Kadi and witness - Daddy has spoken to the Ustaz, hopefully things will go accordingly, Ameen.
  7. Hantaran - Nothing bought yet !
  8. Hantaran deco - DIY ! Sal has promised to help out with them. We have sort of decided on the theme !
  9. Nikah outfit, tudung and shoes - Nikah cloth sent to tailor.
  10. Make up - I want to try to get an affordable package along with my reception pelamin and outfit
  11. Photography - BOOKED !
  12. Bed & bedroom deco -
Reception (my side)


  1. Invitation cards -
  2. Catering - BOOKED !
  3. Hall - BOOKED !
  4. Pelamin -
  5. Dress and shoes -
  6. Make up -
  7. Bunga pahar -
  8. Door gifts - I think I know what I'm gonna give out as favours, nothing extravagant though. :)
  9. Photography - BOOKED !
  10. Videography - Hmm. This can be omitted according to the budget.
  11. Corsages -
  12. Cloth for bridesmaid and best man - Have not decided whether this is necessary.
  13. Cloth for Daddy, Marc and Marlene - This too.
  14. Kompang -
Reception (his side)


  1. Catering & canopy- So far, his Dad said he'll be taking care of this part of the ceremony
  2. Pelamin -
  3. Dress and shoes -
  4. Make up -
  5. Door gifts -
  6. Photography - BOOKED !
  7. Cloth for bridesmaid and best man -
Miscellaneous

  1. Expenses for relatives (fuel, accommodation) - Sobs. Bayar sendiri tak boleh ye ? Hee.
  2. Honeymoon - Will be thought about after sorting out other things. Even if we do go anywhere it would be within Malaysia. :)

xoxo,
Melissa R.

Monday, August 24, 2009

the last.

Hi.
I can say that last weekend was fruitful.

On the first day of Ramadhan (Saturday), I managed to send my nikah cloth for tailoring, and even though it would be made into just a simple modern baju kurung, I am pretty anxious about how it will look like !
I hope it turns out as nice as how I have imagined it to be. *daydreams*

Sal and I went asking around about wedding packages at some of the boutiques that were at Jalan TAR.
Tried on some wedding dresses which got me a bit excited.
Went around again yesterday, this time we went as far as Kajang.
It's sooo difficult to find THE red dress !
Some of them offer gorgeous pelamins, but so so dresses.
Of course I can opt for a newly tailored dress (best kan) to go along with the packages which would come with an extra charge, but that remains an option until I have really given up looking.

This is not easy.


xoxo,
Melissa R.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

dais.

I am sick but I feel like I need to be out there doing something !
Like checking out (and booking !) pelamins maybe ?
Among my favourites:


*heart flutters*
Budget budget budget. :(

xoxo,
Melissa R.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

how many ?

I am on medical leave, and am told to isolate myself from others. :(
Mr Sunshine is down with chickenpox. Poor thing.
But today he brought us both some good news.
My future in laws have finally managed to come up with a mutual decision on when the reception (bertandang) on their side would be on.
It will be on January 31st, 2010. InshaAllah.
Alhamdulillah. :)

I am grateful that my photographer is OK with the change of date. Thank you thank you Fadza. :)
I have heard of some that would not entertain cancellations !
Alhamdulillah. :)

Does anyone have an idea on how to know the number of pax I should book for the catering ?
Let's say I have 700 people on my list. Do I order for 700 ? Or more ? Or less ?
Daddy is telling me not to order for too many as not all of who are invited would come.
It's true, but how many exactly ?
Argh, tiba tiba rasa serabut.

xoxo,
Melissa R.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

of notions and beliefs.

Do not believe everything you hear.

Mr Sunshine and I currently agree to believe that suasa in not haram. For now.
Pardon us, we are not out to set our own hukum, but it's because we, and most of the people around us grew up with the notion that Muslim men can wear rings made from suasa.
I do not know when all the hype about it being otherwise, started.
So, until we get real solid proof which proves that it is not allowed (not just information from other blogs), we plan to stick to our belief. :)

Managed to nick these articles. This first one is from Universiti Sains Islam Malaysia's (USIM), and the one below it is from Bahagian Hal Ehwal Islam (BAHEIS).
Clicking on the images would take you to the link where I found them.







We're still discussing and trying to see if we can dig some answers from those who are more learned.
Wallahu'alam.

xoxo,
Melissa R.

Monday, August 10, 2009

i knew it was too good to be true.

Thanks to a gentle reminder from Daddy, Mr Sunshine now does not have his ring yet.
To make a long story short, we were oblivious to the fact that suasa was haram.

No, I do not know what to do next.
I feel like crying my eyes out.

xoxo,
Melissa R.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

cut, clarity, colour, carat.

Check out my ticker.
Exactly 5 months more to go. InshaAllah.
Feel like pinching myself. *pinch pinch*

Is it too early for us to get our wedding rings ?
It does not matter anymore now, anyway.
We have been scouting around for the past three months actually, and today we finally bought 'em !
Yeah, I can't believe it either. Talk about being over excited.
We were browsing at Habib Jewels, Alamanda today and when I set eyes on that ring, it took less than seconds for me to fall in love with it. It was a newly arrived item, for their Aidilfitri promotion.
I always knew that I wanted something simple, yet elegant looking (to me). I have never been a fan of huge flashy diamonds. This may sound cheap or foolish, but I do not see the significance of high carat diamonds.
I want something that I'd be comfortable having on for the rest of my married life (InshaAllah) and that would not get in the way of me doing the dishes, cooking or scrubbing the toilets.
Ok, maybe I won't be scrubbing toilets. Mr Sunshine has promised that he'd do that for me (for the rest of our married life). Hahaha.
Ok, back to the main point, Mr Sunshine also managed to find a ring for himself. I really like it too !




You'll get to see how they look like on that day lah ok. Hehe.
OMG we have our wedding rings alreadyyyyyy ! :D

A busy, busy (and tiring !) weekend just went by.
Apart from me going to Kemaman and back on the same day (Friday) and attending Mr Sunshine's sister's convocation ceremony in UPM today, Mr Sunshine and I paid a visit to the Pameran Pengantin 2009 at MidValley Megamall yesterday.
I was super anxious to see all the exhibit booths as it was my first time attending such a thing.

I came back a with all these filled up in a paper bag...



..and a massive headache. I was just so overwhelmed.
There were good and reasonable offers but we did not find anything in particular that we were interested in, except for some of their wedding invitation cards.
Most of the booths had promotions lasting only for the duration of the exhibition, which mean you'd have to make a booking there and then in order to get the special prices they were displaying. Pretty good trick, but I did not think it was helpful for people like me who tend to take ages to make up my mind. :(
There were a few who had offers lasting until the end of the year. Yay !
I am thinking of dropping by one of the wedding card invitation shops to place my order soon. :)

I have finally got a rough estimate of the number of guests for the reception on my side and I am looking forward to book my caterer !

xoxo,
Melissa R.

Monday, August 3, 2009

good news bad news.

Reception/bertandang on the groom's side might be postponed ! :(
Might be at the end of January.
There's no exact date yet.
But I have booked our photographer ! :(

My akad nikah would be carried out at a mosque in Manjalara.
Is that far from my place ? Apparently not, according to Daddy.

My reception would be at night, at Pusat Komuniti Taman Koperasi Polis 2.
Why not at the huge hall in my neighbourhood you might ask ?
Well simply because I am not very fond of it.
It's too big.
Haha ok that's not the problem, it gets really hot in there and as mentioned in an earlier post, I am very sweat prone.

WE STILL HAVE NOT MANAGE TO ATTEND OUR KURSUS PERKAHWINAN !
Which is really sucky as Ramadhan is around the corner and I don't know whether we would wanna attend the course during that month.
(Our next two weeks are packed.)
Which leaves us to after Aidilfitri !
Sigh, I so want to get it over and done with.

Does anyone know of a good (and reasonably priced) tailor for my nikah outfit ?

xoxo,
Melissa R.